What if the coronavirus hit Discworld?

First to react to the crisis will be CMOT Dibbler. He will be selling vaccines …. in a bun. They won’t work and they will have horrible side effects.

DEATH will be busy.

All the Wizards will discuss it over several really big meals and wind up doing nothing useful (but see below). Mustrum Ridcully will demand that it be hunted and shot. The Bursar will overdose on dried frog pills. The librarian will say “Ook”. Rincewind will run away but the virus will be wherever he runs.

The Witches will quietly and competently care for the ill. Nanny Ogg wil get all of her children and grandchildren to help while having a drink. Or two. Doubles. Granny Weatherwax will simply be. Magrat will try crystals, on Discworld, they will work.

Sam Vimes will continuing patrolling the streets.

Susan will make sure her charges are safe and will guide them to not be overly anxious. And she will manage to tell them that their parents’ advice is completely wrong without insulting the parents.

Lord Vetinari will have all the facts at his fingertips, be in touch with all the experts. He will have Ponder Stibbons gather data, Leonard of Quirm will develop the vaccine and Moist von Lipwig will get a new job as head of the Ankh Morpork CDC.

Related posts:

Why should women be known as “strong people”? Why must they be strong? Why are they labelled? And why not just let them BE. One flinch when you feel physical pain around here gets you “you’re a…

I clenched my fingers between my hair, graping what was left of my conciousness. What is left, I wonder. Reminiscence of the happening haunted my mind again, but not as deep as it was. Sleepless…

Legislators in Russia are inching closer to legalizing crypto mining, and they might begin permitting industrial miners to operate as bona fide “entrepreneurs” as early as next month. This would be a…