Wake

I woke up.

With sweat covering my chest, and ragged breathing circulating in my nostrils.

“What is it again this time??? Fuck….”

I clenched my fingers between my hair, graping what was left of my conciousness. What is left, I wonder.

Reminiscence of the happening haunted my mind again, but not as deep as it was. Sleepless nights, tiring sleeps, trembling hands.

I want this to end, yet I don’t know how. I’m clueless, drowning in the complexity of my own psyche. Pathetic. I wanna scream and drag everyone involved in triggering this down to this hell, yet it won’t change the fact that the damage is done. Justice is a coward’s term for revenge.

Maybe what my friend said is true. Maybe I’m experiencing delusions, or worse, psychosis. Maybe I’m creating an alter ego that’s constantly playing victim. Or maybe this alter ego is the one creating all these delusions.

“You, whatever you are, release me.”

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